This Is Me

I recently watched The Greatest Showman and listened to it’s hit song “This is Me” and it got me thinking about boundaries…

As a Dialectical Behavioral Therapist, I work with clients who often experience a history of trauma. One of the key elements of trauma is that one’s boundaries have been violated. When our boundaries have not been protected and in an effort to survive, we learn to build fortresses and moats around our hearts ensuring no one dare enter with 100 yards often leading to lives of loneliness or isolation. Or to the other extreme, we let people come into our lives without so much as a security clearance, which in turn can lead to re-victimization and re-traumatization. Or perhaps we oscillate between the two extremes, the push and pull response. Furthermore, boundary violations lead to difficulty setting limits (i.e. saying no or ask for help) and difficulties forming a sense of who we are and being able to distinguish our wants and needs versus others.

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) works to address this through teaching skills that  empower people, teaching them not only how to gain control of their own emotional responses and actions but also teaching basic assertiveness skills and how to maintain and balance healthy relationships with ourselves and others. Research shows we do better when we are a part of a group, are socially connected and have a sense of belonging. So if you struggle with saying no, asking for help or balancing your needs with the needs of others begin the practice of setting healthy limits by standing up and saying… or singing:

“When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I’m gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out
I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I’m meant to be, this is me
Look out ’cause here I come
And I’m marching on to the beat I drum
I’m not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me.”
– This is Me – The Greatest Showman

Click here to watch the song on YouTube