DBT OC Blog
Posted by DBT Center of Orange County in Benefits of DBT
In DBT we talk about Mindfulness and Interpersonal Effectiveness, and somehow my head got caught up in the following conversation with a patient the other day: Is there a difference between selfishness and self-centeredness? The patient was struggling to say “No” to a friend for fear of being considered ‘selfish’. The patient said, “I really struggle with people who are selfish! I never want to be perceived as a selfish person.” Somehow, the conversation turned to a discussion about selfishness versus self-centeredness. I asked the patient if the two concepts meant the same to them. The patient paused for a while and responded, “It feels as if there is a difference but I’m not quite sure about it.”
The High-Conflict Couple adapts the powerful techniques of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) into skills you can use to tame out-of-control emotions that flare up in your relationship. Using mindfulness and distress tolerance techniques, you'll learn how to deescalate angry situations before they have a chance to explode into destructive fights. Other approaches will help you disclose your fears, longings, and other vulnerabilities to your partner and validate his or her experiences in return. You'll discover ways to manage problems with negotiation, not conflict, and to find true acceptance and closeness with the person you love the most.